Questions
Frequently interrogated
What's included?+
The newspaper is a full tabloid front page with our masthead, a sensationalist personalised headline, a recognisable photo, an outrageous main article and several smaller stories. The storybook is a 12-page illustrated book: one front cover, ten story pages and one back cover, with an original plot.
How does personalisation work?+
You enter The Newsroom and tell our editor, Monty Press, about your victim. We collect the names, incidents, traits and inside jokes, then build the product around them. You set the humour level and flag anything off-limits.
What about photo uploads?+
Upload clear, well-lit reference photos through The Newsroom. Good lighting and a visible face give the best likeness. Photos are kept private and never published without your consent.
Will they look recognisable?+
We use your reference photos to preserve likeness and emphasise recognisable features. We can't guarantee an exact photographic match, but a recognisable character is the whole point of the product.
How is it delivered?+
Digitally as a high-quality PDF (with a flipbook preview for storybooks) or as a premium printed edition. Digital has no shipping; printed ships once printing and rates are configured.
Do you print it?+
Printing is outsourced to a third-party provider. Printed orders become available once printing specifications and shipping rates are configured. Until then, digital editions are fully available.
How long does production take?+
Each product is created to order. We'll confirm a turnaround time once production is set up — we won't promise a date we can't keep.
Can I choose the humour level?+
Yes. In The Newsroom you set it from gentle to merciless, and you tell us anything that's off-limits. We're playful, not cruel.
Can I request revisions?+
Yes. Before we finalise, you review the Editorial Dossier and correct anything. Further revision terms are confirmed at checkout.
What's your refund policy?+
We offer a 100% money-back guarantee. If you're not happy with what we've made, we'll give you your money back — simple as that. We want you to absolutely love your personalised creation. Full details are on our Refunds & Returns page (requires business-owner review before launch).
How is my information protected?+
Your brief and photos are stored privately and linked to your order by a unique reference. We don't auto-publish customer material. See our Privacy Policy.
Is the storybook suitable for children?+
No. The Adult Storybook is intended for adults aged 18 and over. The humour is rude and ridiculous and written for grown-ups.
100% Money-Back Guarantee
We want you to absolutely love your personalised creation. If you're not happy with what we've made, we'll give you your money back. Simple as that.
Protected by NZ Consumer Guarantees & Fair Trading standards.